| The End |
|
|
| 05:55pm 10/10/2005 |
| |
I think this shall be the end of my entries. I'm not handling what goes on relating to them well, and I think its just easiest if I just don't come here anymore, I'm not gonna visit www.livejournal.com for a while me thinks.
For my own safety, signing out, bye. |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| Don't read this Louise |
|
|
| 03:36pm 03/10/2005 |
| |
Don't read this Louise.
Same applies to anyone that doesn't want to hear about me feeling shit/whinging.
Now I really want to get away from all this because I can't handle this much longer. I mean I want her to be happy sure, and that she is is helping with the wanting to get back with her as a couple, because despite what she's said its obvious she's much happier now. Problem though, I felt amazing in the relationship, sure there were downs, really low downs (though of late I'm redefining low), but I felt so good sometimes, like nothing mattered except that I was with her, and that... I dunno that I should say this, but I almost had "faith". At least I had what Louise said "faith" is, I believed that things for me WOULD work out, that things WOULD be ok. First time I felt that, ever. I didn't believe in God, I just felt ready to handle life for once. And she's great now, and its just like she didn't have anything, and everything was fake, she wasn't happy, she didn't want it to work. Fuck.
I mean she just let go so fast, she's already over me so much, and sometimes I'm more into her than ever. I hate what I've done but I can't just change my feelings ffs, I can't just not think about her, I can't just not want her. If I could, I would have been over her before the relationship began.
So what this entry is for, is its asking for what to do. I don't mean "stop thinking about her", I appreciate that you are trying to help, but if you are going to say that, just say nothing, because I've tried.
How do I get over her? |
|
| |
|
Read 7 - Post |
| |
| Time to write some stuff. |
|
|
| 07:22pm 27/09/2005 |
| |
Ok this is gonna be my journal entry where I write whatever comes to mind. I think I've done one of those before but meh.
Rach just said she hates me and basically to fuck off. We were talking and she said something about Louise or something, and so I commented in kind about MPH, and she got cut and I can't remember she said something about killing herself, I said its not worth it, and something else I can't remember, and then something else was said, then she said that, and blocked me.
I dunno if I was a dickhead then, didn't mean to be, she was being a bitch though, so I was trying to be nice, but was a bit hard, with her attacking what I say.
I am actually on and off obsessed about Louise I'd say. Last night I was thinking about when she said yes, and obviously that made me feel good for like 30 seconds, and then I felt so utterly shit, and I hadn't taken any valerian root yet (wanted to try not to have any) but then I went down and grabbed a few (can't remember).
Charisse isn't happy about me taking them, I don't see what the issue is, they are natural and don't do that much anyway.
If it were as easy as me going "OK I wanna get over Louise, so I'm gonna force myself not to think about her", don't you kinda think I'd be over her already?
People have said I need to find myself another girl, I don't wanna hurt someone though, and if I were to find someone else I would, because I'm not close to over Louise, how do you think that'd make the person I'm with feel? I don't wanna do that to someone.
And I wanna see her, I also wanna go out. But I don't want to inconvenience her, and I don't want her to not do something because of me, especially since I feel shit either way, but when she's there and with another guy I wanna do so much that I can't handle it.
Sad music is awesome.
Man this is fucked, whenever I read or hear something like "Louise getting with another guy" my arm starts to shake, and I feel sick.
ARGH WHY CAN'T I FUCKING GET OVER HER |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| I'm a depressed child. |
|
|
| 04:33pm 26/09/2005 |
| |
|
mood: Not quite as bad as before music: A Crimson Sunrise - Dream Theater
|
I've been looking over things I've written lately, lj included, and I've come to the conclusion that I am a depressed child. Even though I'm not clinically depressed or a child.
I may not be clinically depressed, though I am fucked up. I think depression is too normal for me, I dunno what its called but like I suppose similar to bipolar disorder though obviously not as bad, though my extremes are pretty fucked.
To Louise: Most of the time I don't have any ill feelings (as in I'm not often angry, disappointed, whatever with you), maybe that is cause I forget, or whatever I dunno, but I don't, I am angry at myself. I don't want to avoid you, but I don't know if I can handle seeing you if I can't have you, at least for a while. You know for yourself that I wasn't in a great mood just after not being able to have you (semi afters). I don't want to make you have a bad time by holding you back, and even you holding back would still result in me feeling shit, so there would be no point. I don't know why I put the "To Louise:" cause this is basically always directed at you, or for you anyway. I've stopped saying a lot of the things I used to, started saying other things. I dunno why they are as bad as each other I guess. I don't know if I've told you this, I have so many people, so chances are you know, but the way my mind... or at least I work according to you is as follows:
I love her, I need her *10 mins pass* Why did I even think that? Stupid, I should just go find someone else *10 mins pass* I can't believe I ever though that. I was so wrong, I love her and need her *I see you at party etc* Why am I staring at her, look away, argh I can't. Pretend you are fine, act normal, go go. Move close to see what happens. Nothing happened except just made me wanna get closer. Why'd I do that? *Walks away* I need to forget, time to go annoy some people.
I don't know why I typed that that was weird. Anyway, I don't delete things once I put them down, so there we are.
There is so much more I should be saying and yet I don't know what that is. So much I want and yet I don't know what that is. I feel like being so cliched, but cliche started our relationship, and its over now so no point continuing. That feels like years ago when we were talking about how cliched our conversation was.
I think I should stop typing now for my own sake, I've probably already fucked myself over yet again.
Bye whoever bothers to read.
No more arguing please, Casey/Sally, don't be so caring, Rach, well, only comment on me, not on anyone else please. And Louise do whatever you want, no holding back, unless its to make me happy, then tell me what it is and we can work out whats up. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| shit |
|
|
| 01:28am 25/09/2005 |
| |
|
mood: suicidal if no pain
|
Judging by how I feel right now I'm not gonna want to talk to anyone for a while.
I feel so shit. I want to puke. I want to hurt things. I want to crawl up into a little ball and cry. I want her.
Why is it that still just seeing another guy touching her makes me feel sick and want to cry and want to beat the shit out of him. It should be easy to get over her, why do I even love her?
Jas and I just came home from Antonias by taxi cause fucking St. Leonards station closed when it fucked said there was meant to be a train on the CityRail site.
Always whenever I see her and am not able to do what I want with her then I end up feeling like this. Hasn't been this bad though.
If you aren't going to be nice to me or give me what I want then don't talk to me. Period.
I'm gonna go be an emo fag and cry myself to sleep bye. |
|
| |
|
Read 15 - Post |
| |
| I am alive. |
|
|
| 01:16pm 18/09/2005 |
| |
|
mood: argh music: Hurt - NiN
|
I know I haven't updated much recently.
Random, talking to Louise on her break now.
I feel like shit and argh.
Its like there is something I want. Something I need. And whether un- or sub-consciously, I don't know what it is.
I've felt like shit pretty much since last Thursday.
Things I want/need seem to be passing me by without me being able to have them.
I keep enacting scenes in my head. Of me going off at people.
Before there was one that had me getting really cut and punching myself in the head (you know like they do in movies). And I started to really punch myself in the head. :S
I keep confusing myself. I keep hating myself. I keep hating other people. I keep annoying other people.
I don't want to kill myself but I don't really want to live. Argh I'm so confused by what I feel.
I don't think there has been a night in the last 2 weeks that I didn't want to, or did, cry.
I'm sorry to everyone who has experienced my bipolarness.
I'm sorry to people I've hurt.
I'm sorry to people I've annoyed.
I feel like I want to shout at people and make them feel like shit. But like take the high and mighty approach. But I feel justified in that approach.
IF YOU FUCKING HATE HOW YOU DO THINGS TO PEOPLE, TRY TO CHANGE.
Words I'm trying to live by, maybe you should too.
Don't change for someone else. Change for yourself.
Compromise means no one is happy.
*insert solo*
"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep." - Lebowitz
I can't seem to sleep too well lately. I slept a reasonable time last night though I felt like shit when I went to sleep, and I feel like shit now. Friday night I slept ok. Weed helps me get to sleep.
I guess I have to go now. I have to have a shower then go get some shoes for the formals. Which I'm still going to. Hah yeah thats exactly what I want to do. I guess I do want to go though, I wouldn't be going to get shoes if I didn't want to come.
Oh someone is in need of me talking to them, they feel shit, but I don't want to feel bad, so fuck them, I'm going now.
Bye |
|
| |
|
Read 6 - Post |
| |
| No |
|
|
| 07:03pm 09/09/2005 |
| |
mood:  blah music: Nothing Else Matters
|
This is not a full lj update, I'm just doing this so that the last one is not the one that comes up anymore.
I do not feel quite the same, not so anti-life atm. Though I am still majorly bipolar when it comes to Louise. I don't know how long this is gonna take to settle down but its really not good the stages I go through.
I know I asked for it, but like always, I took things how I wanted to take them. Figured "being hurt" just meant like she'd lose her feelings for me and leave me. Which sure would suck but isn't really the same as having my kardia rent out. Just thought I'd use those words cause I can.
I guess I'm probably being a whiny bitch as always though, I imagine me feeling how bad I do at points is probably just me not being able to handle anything that is actually hard. So please if I complain, tell me to stfu I really don't have it as bad as many people.
Just being stupid and not able to handle many things from people I it shouldn't come from and meh.
Yours Purpely
Thomas "Nixon" Biber |
|
| |
|
Read 3 - Post |
| |
| Life |
|
|
| 01:07am 07/09/2005 |
| |
mood:  morose music: escapism playlist
|
is just soooo worth living. |
|
| |
|
Read 3 - Post |
| |
| Tiredness |
|
|
| 07:54pm 27/08/2005 |
| |
mood:  tired music: Forty Six & 2 - Tool
|
I am sooo tired today.
I'm sitting here, my grandmother is over, we just had dinner (Mango Chicken, mum cooked it, was good) and I'm sitting here and don't amazingly want to talk to many people, I'm online with Busy on, don't want people annoying me, but then I won't be able to tell if someone I want to talk to comes on. Dilemna. I think I'll just check every so often, chances are won't end up chatting too much anyway.
OK, so had trials recently. GAY. Nah it's not too bad, I'm not very stressed and haven't BOMBED things, just bombed some questions while ace-ing others. I will do not too bad in Maths considering I forgot how to do like 25 marks worth of shit. English ones I fucked up in the first one, second one not too bad except fucked up the letter (signed it "Yours Purpley, Thomas Biber" cause I couldn't think of what to put and all I could think about was Purple Hippo's). And yeah. Got IPT and Chem on Monday = gayness. Got Studies of Religion on Tuesday, really don't give a fuck about that. Hope I do well but pretty meh about it.
Last night was Antonia's. Thanks must be giving to Linden (drugged up goth). Yeah it was good, I know I looked all sad and shit, just been trying to act differently see if that works better. I dunno if it did. Will need to get feed back. Okay yeah, Antonia's, what happened. Um... Oh yeah OUR BEERS WERE FREELY GIVEN OUT. I don't care as much as I should I guess, but yeah cheap biatches. At like sometime after most people had left, the cops turned up to tell us to STFU. People are naughty chickens and called them piggy's while they were there, not smart. They are only doing the job someone has to, I'm not saying they are perfect or any bs like that, just that there are many who are doing the best they can. Um yeah anyway, what else happened last night that I should talk about.
Today shortly after Louise and Khali left Antonia's, the group (Antonia, Glen, Tammy, Travis, Zac and of course me) went into the city just basically to bumb around. Mum called me and wanted me to go to some Uni open day thing, but lazyness is where its at. We then proceeded to go into the city by bus, walking from Wynyard to Utopia, me seeing many a thing I wish to buy for myself and other people, one thing was gone though. :( STUPID PEOPLE BUYING MY GIFT IDEAS. Hehehe. Um and then we went to... We started walking down towards Paddy's Markets and stopped off at the Coles where Glen and Zac "bought" food. I sat out the front and stickered my diary. We then sat out the front waiting for Marianna for a bit, then went into Hungry Jacks, and Marianna met us in there. Zac then proclaimed his love for me and its all good baby. We then moved on down to Paddy's markets where lots of looking and stealing took place, we then basically went and had a look in Morning Glory (god knows why, we basically did nothing in there). From there we went to trainsness and I went down and sat on the platform for Burwood, and the group (going to Thornleigh) came down a bit after deciding to go there via Strathfield. I then proceeded to get a weirdness attack and start ed freaking out Antonia and Tammy (with a bit of Trav mixed in). Oh and Tammy, BROGEN.
That is basically all I can think of saying and stuff. Dunno if I mention this before, I don't feel like going into detail right now, but on Monday Cam and me went to Willoughby so as to drop off money for the Willoughby formal. I gave her some pink roses in black wrapping, very "adorable" aye? And no that was copying Cam, though of course its possibly he influenced me, though me thinks I would have done it anyway. I dunno, I'm not like a particularly GIVING guy, but like things like that every so often I like to do (so long as she does). Though too many things now are desired by me for that sorta purpose and money is gay :P.
Um yeah ok then I guess thats it.
I dunno whether I can stop you, but try not to worry about me too much atm, I don't feel bad, I know I seem sad, but I just feel like subdued a lot of the time, not like angry or sad, just contemplative (thinking about stuff) and tired at mostly what I've been lately.
TIREDNESS TO THE MAX. Seriously every single time I start to get into a song I'm listening to atm I just nearly fall asleep. Fark thats tiredness, no idea why so tired, I've had like 8-9 hours sleep in 2 days that is not particularly small (for me). It's like I've only had an hour or 2. Meh, this weekend should help, will sleep in a little tomorrow me thinks.
Bye bye.
Oh, and BROGEN. |
|
| |
|
Read 11 - Post |
| |
| Go Skool! |
|
|
| 11:20am 19/08/2005 |
| |
mood:  accomplished music: I'm not listening to something, but wanna listen to Kashmir
|
I am sitting here in my free period with a stupid korean dude annoying me, and was thinking about Simpsons. So "Go Skool!".
I am meant to update this so I thought I'd do it now, could have done last night but wanted to go to bed early.
I've been really tired lately, especially yesterday. When I get really tired (i.e. 30+ hours of no sleep normally) I start hallucinating, like not like talking or anything really specific. Yesterday I was that tired. I was like on the way home hallucinating thinking that cars were speeding down the street at me, like I'd hear a car and then think its speeding down the street at me. Was pretty freaky. Yesterday I was testing out guarana mints so as to try to wake up more and like hopefully do better in exams, I didn't want them to possibly fuck me up so I tested them yesterday. It seems they made me much much more tired, was fucked. I had like 20 yesterday, a coffee in the morning and two coffee's in the afternoon. None worked really. When I got home and got online I felt much better.
FINALLY it has now gotten through to me what this relationship is. I was really fucked on in the head last night after I finally worked it out. I've been doing things wrong, taking things how I want to take them, if I didn't like what I heard I made up a reason for why it isn't true. I need to stop this. At least now I know how things are a lot more, and pain now is better than pain later. Finally maybe I might be able to actually be less serious and stuff, we'll see I'm not quite sure what I feel right now that I actually KNOW its temporary, its like its not worth it yet still all I want to do is be with her. Its cool though I'm not gonna change anything until I know how I feel.
Yesterday I had like two free periods without realising sorta thing, Maths teacher was away and basically skipped English but we don't really need to go anyway, we aren't on the roll. During those free periods I painted my bottle black, lots of fun. I also cooked an amazingly hard dinner last night, Fried eggs on toast. OMG I'm such a great chef.
Today I am maybe going out don't really know, I want to do lots of things but can't do like 99% of them, and can't do what I most want, you know how it goes. So yeah, gonna take my geetar home and then shower and go online for a bit probably, then come back into the city or something, don't really know. We'll sees
Bye byes |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| I see I see |
|
|
| 09:53am 17/08/2005 |
| |
mood: blah music: Pearl Jam - Jeremy
|
Indeed.
Ok well here goes for an entry.
Monday the entry, I went offline, and went to bed. I didn't get to
sleep, as usual, for like 2-3 hours, but meh. I lay there thinking about
many different things, life and such.
Things have been on my mind lately, the past, the future. Most of it isn't
too bad don't worry I'm not really sad, at least not for myself. I'm happy
with my own life for the most part atm, there are still lots of problems,
such as HS-fucking-C but meh, I'll live even with an asterisk.
Yesterday I brought in my guitar (electric) in to school so that we could at lunch play as a band. Morgan (on drums... that were... very good :P), Cam (n vocals with a mic cause he couldn't bring his bass) and me on guitar. Ok yeah we suck so lets move on from that. I think we need to learn Jeremy (Pearl Jam) at this time, that would be damn good. I really doubt I'm up to the guitar though. I will have a look at it for a while but my equipment isn't anyway, so its not gonna happen for a while.
Louise sent me a site of someone (girl?) called BlueBlack who is just awesome. It is a deviant art site with lots of edited photo's that are just orgasmic. This is the site BlueBlack. These pictures are so awesome. I especially like the "Samara" one, inspired by The Ring. Man now I want to become a photographer, I think I'm gonna try to get a camera and go down to Nanny Goat Hill (near Wolli Creek) and take some photos its a good area after you've done some editing to remove the pollution and shit. But yeah that'd be good.
I've also been thinking about the idea of a lip-ring, now I like the idea but I'm just worried about restraints, like what it will do to eating and kissing etc, I don't want it to get in the way too much, that is why a ring at the top of my ear is much more appealing, because its not gonna get in the way too much, also a bar in my lip would be much easier and stuff but I guess doesn't look as good. We'll see how it goes, I'm thinking of getting one of those fake rings and trying and leaving it there for like a week, and see how that goes, will give me an idea if its worth it or not.
BTW, yes I do have an interest in a tattoo, but a) very expensive and b) want to wait a while so much parents don't get too cut over it.
What else happened... hmm.
Oh yeah yesterday afternoon Cam and me went to Burwood and met Lauren and Tammy so we could walk around for a while, but I had to leave earlyish to go do some stuff. Chris was meant to come, and we tried to convince him to come by telling him, Mia says "Hey, how are you?", but nooo, he had to go to "tutoring" with "hot university chick" so we couldn't convince him. But yeah I guess that was ok, we didn't do much interesting though but it was something to do.
There is probably other stuff but nothing comes to mind atm. So I'll be going now, hope that is at least close to the same style as before.
Bye |
|
| |
|
Read 3 - Post |
| |
| Updatingness |
|
|
| 10:22pm 15/08/2005 |
| |
mood:  geeky music: My December - Linkin Park
|
I AM BEING FORCED TO UPDATE OH NO.
Nah I'm not but Lou wanted me to (ever so subtle that girl is), and everyone knows I conform easy anyway, but especially when it comes to her. So here I am, updating my LJ.
So then, yeah Friday involved going into the city and buying Louise a My Little Pony and was pink and called Skywishes (from memory). That was... fun. It was funny though a 18 year old dude looking around the My Little Pony's muttering to himself. heheh. Yeah that was with Cam, Chris and Jas (woo go alphabet), we had Maccas and then went to Chatty where we procceded to watch Kung Fu Hussle which was awesomeness. Then I procceded to be a "loser face" and not called Louise and end up missing her at Chatty by like 10 mins, gayness.
I then saw her at Lein's when I ran from St. Leonards cause I'm a late fag, and then walked to the Bottle-o and met Cam and Lauren and then walked to Peta's, close to Peta's I gave Louise the pony and mushy-ness ensued. We then watched a lot of the game, during half time Louise and Peta were gay. Then after that, there was more of the game, and then walkage back to Lein's where we watched Team America and I stayed the night after some persuasion because "I'd get raped".
Then in the morning Penny rang. At 4am. That was fun. :/. Yeah and then Louise left to go take photos at the Rocks, after watching the Simpsons at home (Bella's LJ is useful) I dunno when you met Stelle but I'm guessing mosta the time was with Stelle. Me and Nick (Celine's bf, Jason's mate, kiwi, cool) caught bus back to the city and then I walked to the Rocks to meet Louise where I continued to make an arse of myself. Anyway yeah after that I came home and tried to do work (IPT) but didn't really do very much cause I suck. But yeah, handed that in today that was gay. (Oooh that rhymes).
I have left out a lot there, most specifically all the good mushy/huggy stuff cause didn't think it was necessary to continue bringing it up.
Ok yeah I think thats enough for now. |
|
| |
|
Read 5 - Post |
| |
| Louise and I |
|
|
| 07:15pm 11/08/2005 |
| |
mood:  happy music: Is There Love In Space? - Joe Satriani
|
Are back together and to me that is a fucking awesome thing and I'm really happy atm so no making me sad if you can, though if you need to talk then still do please.
I'm happy I can't be bothered to make a full entry but yeah :)
I've decided to try to live in the moment and enjoy it while it lasts, as much as I can, hope I can learn from my mistakes.
Anyways yeah, might add a bit more later but yay |
|
| |
|
Read 4 - Post |
| |
| Break up |
|
|
| 10:16pm 09/08/2005 |
| |
|
mood: Regretful music: Nobody's Listening - Linkin Park
|
Well I don't really update this much but thought I'd try to comment on this all.
OK Well before anything is said, know this, I am a stupid fucking piece of shit. Sorry felt I needed to say that.
I thought about how things were going and Louise wanting to "give it 2 weeks" and it felt like she was avoiding me and we both didn't really seem very happy and I dunno I always over react to shit and thought it meant she didn't want to be together. I thought she would be happier cause she would be able to do all the things she missed out on cause she was with me. I couldn't handle the idea she was staying with me just not to hurt me or whatever I was thinking. So, I ended it. I can't even remember how it happened.
I thought I would rebound x 10000 when me and Louise broke up. I thought I would go through a stage where hate her and want nothing to do with her. I guess I thought wrong. I mean last night when I was being a dickhead and trying to start a fight (this was because I was hurting so much at what I had done that I wanted to get over her and thought fighting with her would make me hate her and not want to be with her), and yes, I did sorta hate her for a bit. It didn't last though.
Now what I want is I want for us to be friends if that is all that is possible. I know its stupid and I hate it but I still have this stupid urge and hope for something more. I am going to be hurt so much but I can't stop it. One thing that I thought back then is still true. "I'll never give up on us". Seems true.
Sorry for being such a fucked up kid but as I've said this whole love thing is new to me and all I can think is that what I'm feeling is wrong and shit, and I guess I don't handle things well, my EQ must be like 5.
Today was a bit fucked up, Chem was awesome though, Orr is off sick, he has some cancer or something, maybe he'll die, that'd be sorta cool. He's not coming back till after trials :D. Guess who we have now? Davies *dances*. Fuck he's awesome. Was really tired cause I couldn't get to sleep last night (I think thats why I've been able to handle today so well, stayed up last night going through a really shit time so I think that helped) and so I bought a 1.25L coke and drank it all through school today so in class could have been much worse. I'm quite happy with how well today has gone I haven't really snapped at many people (a few but not many) and didn't get into trouble so it's all good. Actually its not but meh.
Time to at least try to end on a happy note (I've tried to make this happier as you read). Today Cam, Chris and me went into the city to buy Foo Fighters ticks for second night :D. We went in and went to the State Theatre and bought them from there :D. We then went to Hyde Park and sat around for a while, then Chris left us and Cam and me went and visited Lauren at her work (I really am sorry about the eye, I didn't mean for it to happy I guess I just suck at coordination-required shit). It was for the most part a not bad day because I was given time to think and time with friends and stuff. Got to play my guitar a bit and people didn't annoy me too much about it. I'll leave it I wanted to end this on a happy note just yeah. |
|
| |
|
Read 3 - Post |
| |
| Us |
|
|
| 07:52pm 04/08/2005 |
| |
You and me, me and you. A match made by some weird fucktard.
Why is it that I, the male, am the one that is more attached, more sensitive, more caring? Why is that a bad thing? Why is it that I can't seem to change that?
Those aren't meant to be answer. I'm just musing.
I feel like you are schizophrenic sometimes, you change so much, hot/cold, nice/bitchy, talkative/blocking me.
I'm sorry I've been so emotional lately, I'm hoping its the antibiotics or something because I just can't understand why I've wanted to hurt myself so much lately.
Thank you for unblocking me. I'm sorry that I ever piss you off.
I shall try to wear the pants from now on, though I dunno what I can gaurantee. |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| After Physics |
|
|
| 11:02pm 28/07/2005 |
| |
mood: tired music: Criminal - Eminim
|
Well I promised Louise that I'd update my blog if I finished my physics soon, and I consider this soon enough.
Hmm listening to Criminal, not something I listen to a lot, but yeh.
Ok well yeah, I just finished my physics, severly underneath word limit, but meh, I can't be fucked to make it better, seriously.
I'm too sick, I would say I have gladular fever but my glands are like... fine, like doesn't hurt to push them and they aren't at all swelled, I think I might just have some sort of near-tonsilitus thing.
Louise and I have worked out more and more issues as time goes on. I love the honesty but hate the truth. Funny that. Anyway, that doesn't matter, I want honesty so we'll leave it at honesty.
I'm mentioning these things really briefly because I simply can't think of them in detail. My mind isn't working great with the whole sickness + physics + tiredness + other things.
There are lots of photos I should take/add to my comp. Such as of my room and family and of me and Louise and of our group and everything, but laziness is like my strongest property.
Tomorrow = hair cut with Cam, and then going to watch "Bang Bang Your Dead", a play somewhere in Lane Cove.
Saturday = Possibly gate duty but meh I might not go, then Celines, dunno how great it'll be but will try to make the most of it.
Sunday = Nothing so far, I do need sleep though... :/
Sleep time now, I should have been to bed at like 9 anyway. |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| First Entry |
|
|
| 10:23pm 19/07/2005 |
| |
mood:  indescribable music: Joe Satriani - The Extremist (Living on the Edge)
|
OK, well this is my first entry for LiveJournal, so it won't have much in it.
I like guitar, music, proof_im_human (feel I have to say it a bit) and NOT school.
I wanna drop out a lot now, but won't cause I know its stupid to do it when I've come this far.
Chem assessment due tomorrow, only written like 200 words outta 1050. Test on it and other stuff tomorrow that I dunno anything about.
Oh yay.
I need money, for Marilyn Manson T-shirt, shoes, movies, music, lots and lots of other things as well.
Oh yeah I guess I'll say it, I live booze_whore, but not like like.
Ok ok I lied, I want you Antonia, I want you hard. *orgasm*
See thats what you get for making me add you, you get me freaking you out |
|
| |
|
Read 8 - Post |
| |
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
maverician's journal
optimistic